Dear Wendy Williams,

I'd rather see every animal on Earth turned into a fabulous coat than see you naked.

Sincerely,
DRJ for Christ's Sake

My Eyes!!! MY EYES!!!

Dear Female Musicians,

I just had a conference call with your ass, legs, panties, and coochie.  Going forward, we feel that it would be best for pants to be a regular participant at all meetings.  Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Dear Nicki Minaj,

I like most of your music.  Make no mistake.  I do, however, think you have mistaken popularity for relevance.  You seem to be on this self-proclaimed "Queen" trip right now and uuuuummmmmm babe...you've been on the scene for what, a couple years, three tops???  Let's not change the diaper while you're still shitting in it.  OK?  That is all.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Queen??? Not quite baby girl.

Dear Mitt Romney,

Please let your Republican friends know that this is THE ONLY thing I could find when researching the term "Legitimate Rape". Please click on the image to enhance your viewing experience!

Sincerely, 

DRJ

Dear Florida,

We're still watching you!!!!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Dear Players,

I know you are all convinced that you are the slickest thing since personal lubricant; but trust me when I say...you really aren't.  I've seen sand-paper at Home Depot that's slicker.  Please get counseling immediately.

Sincerely,
DRJ