Dear Taylor Swift,

Give your vag a break and sit your ass down.  I know hookers who date less than you do.

Sincerely,
DRJ

P.S. - You never looked better!  :-)

More dates than a calendar...

Dear Players,

I know you are all convinced that you are the slickest thing since personal lubricant; but trust me when I say...you really aren't.  I've seen sand-paper at Home Depot that's slicker.  Please get counseling immediately.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Dear Teddy Bear Man,

There has never been an occasion, in the history of our planet, where it was acceptable or necessary for a grown man to pose naked with a stuffed animal.  Please sort out your life.

Sincerely,
DRJ

This is proof that a permit should be required in order to own a camera!