Dear Mrs(x4) Davis,

Please see the following text message that I received from your Lord and Savior...

Dear Singles,

Embrace something you love today!
Happy Valentine's Day!

Love,
DRJ

Dear Taylor Swift,

Give your vag a break and sit your ass down.  I know hookers who date less than you do.

Sincerely,
DRJ

P.S. - You never looked better!  :-)

More dates than a calendar...

Dear Players,

I know you are all convinced that you are the slickest thing since personal lubricant; but trust me when I say...you really aren't.  I've seen sand-paper at Home Depot that's slicker.  Please get counseling immediately.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Dear Love,

Please go fuck yourself.

Sincerely,
DRJ