Dear Human Ken Doll,

Congratulations on creating a permanent glory hole face.  You seemed to be surprised by all the press over your 90+ plastic surgeries.  Then again, maybe that look of surprise is just cosmetic.

I guess we may never know.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Ken Doll or Blow Up Doll? Decide for yourself...

Dear One Million Moms,

Please stop hating on Ellen DeGeneres and JC Penney.  We all know you are a group of one million under-cover and/or former college Lesbians.  Save your anger for the bedroom, where it belongs!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Really? This is all you have to bitch about?

Dear Macklemore Big Gal,

I love you with ALL my heart!  You took this video from A to A+!  You're my new best friend.  Call me every ten minutes!

Sincerely,

DRJ

Click here to watch her in action! Greatness!

Dear Rihanna,

The Tim Burton hooker look is on the way out.  You heard it here first!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Rihanna at the 2012 Victoria's Secret Show