Dear Rihanna,

The Tim Burton hooker look is on the way out.  You heard it here first!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Rihanna at the 2012 Victoria's Secret Show

Dear Colombian Secret Service Hooker,

Your life looks about as "ruined" as fresh bread.  It's hard to believe you fear for your family's safety while grinning ear to ear.  Perhaps you should have asked the agents for a nickel to put between your knees.   It's just a thought.

Sincerely,

DRJ

Hooker Hilarity