Dear DEAR Lil' Kim,

Please stop talking about all this money you have.  According to my sources your net worth is around 8 million dollars.  Net worth, meaning...if you sold all the shit you own and got top dollar for it, you'd probably have 8 mil.  So, as far as wealthy rappers go, that places you right around the food stamp vicinity.  Maybe you should change your name to Lil' Bank Account.

Sincerely,
DRJ


P.S. Please stop with the Aretha Franklin style Photoshop.  We ALL know you don't really look like this.

Hear the rap equivalent of wishful thinking here...

Dear Human Ken Doll,

Congratulations on creating a permanent glory hole face.  You seemed to be surprised by all the press over your 90+ plastic surgeries.  Then again, maybe that look of surprise is just cosmetic.

I guess we may never know.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Ken Doll or Blow Up Doll? Decide for yourself...

Dear Men Who Have Surgery to be Taller,

You should trying having your plastic surgeon attach some bigger balls instead of having your legs surgically broken and then lengthened in an effort to get a dose of self esteem.  Be serious.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Doing WAY too much...