Dear North Korea,

I hope these "powerful weapons" you speak of don't rely on a fucking rocket that you put together!  We all know how THAT shit goes.  I think it's best that you stick with what you know best... oppression and starvation of your people.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Kim Jong Un-able...

Dear EEOC,

If employer criminal background checks affect minorities disproportionately, then that's probably because they are committing a disproportionate amount of crimes!  If people don't want to get turned down for a job, they should probably stop committing crimes.  Now, there's something that is black and white.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Earlier this year, Pepsico’s Pepsi Beverages unit settled a suit of hiring discrimination related to its criminal background check policies. The company was using arrest records and convictions to deny job applicants positions, but the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission suit charged the practice impacted minority employees disproportionately and as a result was illegal under the nation’s labor laws. REALLY????

Dear Pizza Hut,

Your pizza already induces the mega-squirts.  Was it really necessary to add a hot dog to the crust and offer "mustard drizzle"?  The only thing that will be drizzling after eating this pizza will be our guts.

Sincerely,
DRJ

Bubble-guts...complete with drizzle!

Dear Rick Santorum,

Sarah Palin just called.  She wants to give you pointers on how to make the most of being a loser.

Sincerely,
DRJ


P.S. - The news of your departure makes me feel...well...frothy.

Buh-Bye

Dear Mary J. Blige,

I know you got paid for this...but DAYUM.  Really?  Some things shouldn't be sold...like dignity.  This is a hot ass mess!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Stick a Whopper in it Mary! Good grief!!!

Dear YouTube Cover Artists,

Who knew mediocrity had a sound??!!  Please stop.

Sincerely,
DRJ

www.onedimensional.com/makeitstop