Dear Texas Rangers,

As someone who NEVER watches baseball and knows nothing about the game, I do not appreciate being sucked into watching my first game only to see you lose!  Get your shit together and I will see you in the 9th inning tomorrow damn it!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Dear Autumn,

I hope you've come to kick Summer in the nuts for treating Texas like a microwave dinner!

Sincerely,
DRJ