Dear Mariah Carey,

I do not appreciate having to watch American Idol but gurl...YOU BETTA CASH THAT CHECK!!!!  Congrats!!!

Sincerely,
DRJ

Yeah...it's like that y'all. Read about it...

Dear San Diego,

Don't be ashamed by your premature fireworks display.  It happens to men all over the world.  Not anyone I know...but still...

Keep your head up.  HAHAHAHAHA!

Sincerely,
DRJ

At least it was 15 seconds...that's more than some people get. LOL